02
Jan
11

Testing the waters, soda water that is.

So New Years Eve was a little less eventful than I imagined for my last night drinking.  We headed about 200 miles north to Pismo Beach with two of our good friends.  I had been fighting a miserable cold all week and really did not have my normal boozing energy.  We stayed at the Pismo Lighthouse suites which was a pretty fucking cool place right on the water with….a life size chess board!  We spent the day checking out the town and the coast.  The Central coast is beautiful.

The day was relaxing and perfect as I needed all my energy for the night ahead.  As the sun set the four of us cracked some champagne and headed to the hot tub overlooking the ocean.  I began to try to drink my cold away. I was fucking dying but the thought of no more booze kept pushing me forward.  We headed to dinner where I proceeded to drink a couple of vodka martini’s and a glass of wine.  Fuck it.  By this point I was trying to get in all the different food groups of alcohol for one last hoorah!

By midnight I was pretty banged up.  The girls went to bed after the ball dropped and my buddy Ben stayed up in support of this bullshit.  Literally every beer was my last but I would keep cracking them.  Finally, unable to talk and walk, Ben snapped this last picture of me and I was out!Benjamin Keiser requested recognition for this photo.

New Years day morning we made our way down the coast taking a brief detour into the town of Solvang.  This is an authentic little Danish town located on the tip of Los Padres National Forest.  We had never been here before and it was a trip to feel like we were in Europe two hours away from our house in Los Angeles.  Europe and Japan I should say, as there was a fleet of Japanese tour buses that had docked nearby and about a million Japanese tourists armed with huge cameras flooding the streets.

We continued back to LA. I was getting anxious now because I knew my first test of not drinking was coming up that same night.  We were meeting some friends for a birthday party at a bar in Hermosa and they had all been there since noon, drinking and watching the bowl games.  We arrived and it was packed.  A regular old meat factory with like ten guys for every girl.  We met our friends and sat down and Katherine (my wife) started to go to get a glass of chardonnay.  Fuck.  I looked at the bar and it was five deep with dudes, I looked at her.  Should I just let her go and get molested trying to get a drink or should I just man up and go order this lite ass order. Fuck, I thought as I pushed my way to the bar.  “What do ya need man? was asked, ” Uh, I’ll take a chardonnay, a veggie taco and a soda water with lime.”  What the fuck did I just say?  Talk about some shit. A chardonnay, a veggie taco, and a soda water with lime? I was expecting the ten meat heads surrounding me to just starting punching my face.  In fact, I think I punched myself in my own groin for good measure.

One of our female friends was a little intoxicated and asked me what I was drinking. When I told her, all she said was “gay” and walked away. No shit, it was hilarious.

The first soda water with lime went down fast.  I drank that shit like it was a pint glass of whiskey. Time started to go by and I started to relax. I had to time my bathroom runs with the arrival of the rounds of shots but that was o.k. I was seated next to some big 6’8 motherfucker who although a nice guy, was getting really drunk and talking so close to me I could smell the beer off his breath.  We stayed for about two hours and then we peaced.  Now I know, it wasn’t a late night or after a hard day at work, but it was the first test, the first day, and I passed that shit, soda water with lime in hand.

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1 Response to “Testing the waters, soda water that is.”


  1. 1 Amanda
    January 2, 2011 at 6:52 pm

    Soda water with lime, eh? Way to go. And, of course, your comment about the dude that was 6’8 made me think of the time you were all drunken up on our deck at Concord Creek and started giving Sean a hard time. I can’t remember what you were saying to him, but you were such an annoying little twit at the time and he was about ready to punch you in the groin!

    Love the blog. Happy New Year and look forward to reading more!
    xox


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